TOY CULTURE

The idea of using toys to spice up the sex is an idea I have long toyed (pun intended). To where I live however, humans here are not accustomed to seeing a huge green dildo over the counter. Believe it or not, even my peers are embarrassed of buying a condom at a drugstore, which is both sad and hilarious.

Now being both horny and hormonal, I scoured the internet for some of these what I love to call, gadgets of fuckery, and jesus-hold-me-tight, I found out that there’s more to dildos, rabbits, and beads. I mean, I am looking at a plethora of sex toys mouthing OMG and WTF simultaneously. I have reached the point of my primal fear settling in, and doubted for like two seconds if I should really go ahead and enter the realm of Sex Toylandia.

I haven’t decided yet, not that I’m closing my doors or whatnot, but here are some of the toys I am NOT happy to discover and anyone who uses any of these will not become my friend, or if you already are, leave me the fuck alone – period.

 

THE VAJANKLE

I understand foot fetish is a thing BUT THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DO IT FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

wtf

No. No no no no no no. That’s not a sex toy, that’s a prop from the XXX-rated version of the Thing.

Is … is this who we are now, people? We’re taking what are essentially horror movie props and making them fuckable to quiet down the voices in our heads? That’s shooting way above your everyday “generic sociopath” territory and veering dangerously close to outright supervillainy. I mean, the only thing I can imagine would be worse than that fucking footgina would be … you know, I can’t even tell. Maybe an actual severed head with a screwable windpipe? Luckily, humanity is not yet so far gone that we’d even consider making a deranged-ass product like th-

wtf2

.. nevermind. Babies for breakfast, anyone?

 

VIRGIN SEX TOYS

Guys, I’m all for fantasies. I fully understand the power trip some guys enjoy in the whole virgin fantasy thing. But do you really need a sex toy that actually bleeds to simulate the sensation? From multiple manufacturers, for that matter. How … how does that even work? It’s not like you’re likely to see the fake blood while you’re, uh, operating the machinery. Do you poke the toy with a stick until it bleeds? Do you revel in the blood afterwards?

wtf3

Actually, don’t answer that. Because I can’t help but feel that whenever you feel the need to shed your money on a sex toy that sputters red goop, the next step is hissing at the police from your meat hook-filled closet dungeon after they finally realize that the material of your anime body pillow is suspiciously skin-like, and that no one has seen your neighbor in weeks.

 

A BUTTPLUG WITH A FUZZY TAIL

wtf4

JESUS. REALLY?

I understand sparkly butt plugs. I even saw a butt plug with a Christian cross on it. But this, really? REALLY?! WHY?!

 

THIS COCK RING FROM HELL

wtf6

This is like the cock ring Vlad the Impaler would use. If you love tales of the medieval, or if you’re conducting your own inquisition, then this tiny Iron Maiden for a schlong may be right up your alley.

 

ANAL RING TOSS

Okay. So I’ve been told this is a thing in Vegas?

wtf5

I can’t even write anymore. This is.. this is.. not what I had in mind.

LOL at that third bullet point – TOSS YOUR INHIBITIONS AWAY – who wouldn’t wanna do that *laughingcrying*

 

 

Lucila Lalu: The Original Chop-Chop Lady

**DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE SOME REALLY FUCKED UP PHOTOS BELOW. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

 

Lucila Lalu- photoThe term chop-chop lady is something most Filipinos would recognize. With English being our second language, some words are borrowed and snuck into our everyday vocabulary, as if we invented the universal language itself.

Now chop-chop lady is anything but pretty – it refers to a body of a woman whose remains are chopped into inappropriately smaller pieces – the head being decapitated (in most cases), torso, limbs, some even do the extra effort of severing each finger and toe – the whole nine yards of mutilation. You get it, right?

As Filipinos, atrocities are like a breakfast value meal at Jollibee – they exist, but you don’t always get ‘em.  News like this appears from time to time, albeit not every day. When we do hear one, the nation automatically huddles into paranoia, in fear of the maniac who’s keen on chopping off humans.

Enter Lucila Lalu.

For the local press, 1967 is the year when Lucila Lalu outranked the Arab-Israeli War on the front pages.

Her case was highly sensationalized, given it happened in 1960s Philippines, and hers was abnormally scary as fuck because they found her legs first, chopped expertly into four pieces and wrapped in a newspaper, in a garbage can on Malabon St., Sta. Cruz. A day later, her body, headless and legless, was found on a vacant lot along Epifanio de los Santos Avenue. It took time, of course, to identify her in the little pieces, but the police managed somehow to get fingerprints off the dead hands which subsequently found to match those in a police clearance file on one Lucila Lalu. The suspects of the case included her 19-year-old lover, Florante Relos, Patrolman Aniano de Vera, and Jose Luis Santiano, a 28-year-old dental student.

For the local press, 1967 is the year when Lucila Lalu outranked the Arab-Israeli War on the front pages.

As the case developed, the sordid side of Lucila’s life rather than her murderer surfaced. Reports poured in that Lucila had other lovers and the police responded by hunting them. The testimony of eager beavers in the case was varied and contradictory. Lucila’s neighbors claimed they saw three men dragging what looked like a body from Lucila’s residence. Vera claimed he saw Lucila hale and hearty hours after the neighbors “had seen” her body being dragged away. A friend of the victim stated that Lucila wanted to end her relationship with Relos, but Relos swears the woman was very much in love with him. And so on, and so forth.

Lucila LaluMay30-67-Full-sf

The police, for their part, theorized on the circumstances behind the murder. From what was left of Lucila, they surmised that the murder could only have been committed by someone familiar with the use of knives and such – say a butcher or a surgeon or at least a pre-med student. The killer must have used a private vehicle to dispose of the torso and legs, and because these were very cold to the touch when found, the remains, the police said, must have been stored in a freezer. These led to speculation that a wealthy man may have been involved in the case, in addition to the earlier and credible theory that the killer must be intelligent, methodical and some sort of professional.

After a week of investigating and prying for information, the police still had no murderer to show before the public. And the victim’s head still had to be recovered. This led not a few people to feel that local sleuths, be they Manila’s finest or our intelligence agents, are not fine enough.

Lucila Lalu-Jun18-67-1-b&w-Full page-sf

On the 15th of June 1967, Santiano, the 28-year old dental student surfaced and confessed to the crime. He recounted and detailed the events that led to the brutal killing. However, a few days later, he retracted and repudiated his confession and insisted on his innocence. But the authorities were firmed on their decision to pursue the case against the new suspect.

In an unsuspecting plot twist, a retired cop, Steve Hodel, claims that his father killed Lucila Lalu. His father is George Hodel, the suspected murderer of Elizabeth Short (The Black Dahlia) in 1947. His father abandoned them and moved to the Philippines, detailing it on his books. Furthermore, handwriting analysis shows connections between George Hodel’s known handwriting and notes written by the Lipstick killer and the Zodiac killer.

Lalu’s case, although Santiano was pinned, is something that can drag on unresolved, as in fact many have in the past. If we consider Steve Hodel’s claims however, does it make me a very sick person if I say… I felt an irrational surge of excitement, knowing George Hodel was once here? 🙂

Here’s a Black Dahlia slideshow (for the lack of Lucila’s body parts):

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

 

Exhibitionism

In the Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders, Exhibitionism is defined as, “a mental disorder characterized by a compulsion to display one’s genitals to an unsuspecting stranger.”

I love how the word “unsuspecting” is used to define the term, because it just goes to show that people inflicted with this mental disorder are severely fucked up. Imagine getting caught off guard by a random dude flashing or jacking off in front of you – man, I wouldn’t know what to do. That is both a “WTF?!” and an “ARE YOU OK?” to me.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) files exhibitionism under “paraphilias,” a subcategory of sexual and gender identity disorders.

What the hell are Paraphilias?

This is a collective name for mental illnesses marked by obsession with weird sexual practices or sexual activity involving non-consenting or inappropriate partners, which includes kids (pedophilia) or animals (zoophilia). The term paraphilia is derived from two Greek words meaning “outside of” and “friendship-love.”

Exhibitionism as defined by DSM-IV-TR

DSM-IV-TR defines exhibitionism as the exposure of one’s genitals to a stranger, but with no further intention of engaging in sexual activity with the other person. Because of this, the term is sometimes grouped together with “voyeurism,” (peeping or watching an unsuspecting person or people, usually strangers, undressing or engaging in sexual activity) as a “hands-off” paraphilia. This contrasts with the “hands-on disorders” which involve physical contact with other persons.

What goes on in the minds of these motherfuckers

If you are like me, you’d probably wanna know what these guys are thinking while doing their thing. Well, some exhibitionists are aware of a conscious desire to shock or upset their target; while others fantasize that the target will become sexually aroused by their display. In the case of peeping Toms, the exhibitionist masturbates while exposing himself (or while fantasizing that he is exposing himself) to the other person.

 What makes flashers do this shitty thing?

Several theories have been proposed regarding the origins of exhibitionism. As of 2002, however, none are considered conclusive. They include:

  1. Biological theories. These generally hold that testosterone, the hormone that influences the sexual drive in both men and women, increases the susceptibility of males to develop deviant sexual behaviors. Some medications used to treat exhibitionists are given to lower the patients’ testosterone levels.
  2. Learning theories. Several studies have shown that emotional abuse in childhood and family dysfunction are both significant risk factors in the development of exhibitionism.
  3. Psychoanalytical theories. These are based on the assumption that male gender identity requires the male child’s separation from his mother psychologically so that he does not identify with her as a member of the same sex, the way a girl does. It is thought that exhibitionists regard their mothers as rejecting them on the basis of their different genitals. Therefore, they grow up with the desire to force women to accept them by making women look at their genitals.
  4. Head trauma. There are a small number of documented cases of men becoming exhibitionists following traumatic brain injury (TBI) without previous histories of alcohol abuse or sexual offenses.
  5. A childhood history of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The reason for the connection is not yet known, but researchers at Harvard have discovered that patients with multiple paraphilias have a much greater likelihood of having had ADHD as children than men with only one paraphilia.

 

Why the sudden interest in Exhibitionism

In my continuous conquest to post something extraordinarily fucked up as often as I could, I would read the weirdest books and Internet stories that I could find. Just recently, I’ve come across Chuck Palahniuk’s short story entitled Guts, and I was overcome with this intense need to further explore masturbation in an essence.

By the way, the short story involves a carrot in one’s asshole and a foreign object inserted in a boy’s pee-hole all for the sake of “taking jacking off to the next level” (read the story, I double dare you). So I did my research until I’ve reached the offensive side to jacking off. The gods of the Internet love me so much that they bestowed upon me this mind-opener, originally published in 1961.

Here’s an excerpt:

THE TRAGEDY OF THE EXHIBITIONIST

 

By B. H. Leveret, Ph.D., LL.B.

Sending a man to jail for indecent exposure is psychologically useless and socially unsound.

MY young secretary came into the office very much upset one morning and said to me: “This morning as I was coming in on the subway with several of my girl friends a terrible thing happened. We were standing near the door of the subway car. A man got out. Just before the train pulled out of the station, this man stepped up to the door and placing himself in front of the win-daw of the door, he proceeded to unbutton his trousers and show himself to us.”

“Poor fellow,” I said.

“Poor fellow, indeed,” she replied. “How about us? I was nearly frightened to death. And the other girls were very much disturbed also. One of them was very young. She may not get over it so easily.”

“I did not mean to suggest that what he did was condonable,” I replied. “I think it was reprehensible. I think it certainly deserves to be punished. But you know, in the law today we also recognize another side to a situation of this kind.

“We realize today, owing to the advances of modern psychiatry, that a man who does a thing like that may be committing a terrible offense and may be causing shock and injury to girls before whom he displays himself, but also that this man is probably a quite sick man.

 

So you see where I’m heading at?

If peeping, flashing, jacking off in public, and other lewd acts done publicly stem from a strain of mental illnesses, why are these very sick people arrested and thrown into jail instead of getting psychiatric help?

Here in my country, these acts are seen as merely something that’s so disgusting, inappropriate, “bastos”, perverted, “manyakis,” and a whole lot more insults in our native tongue, and I bet not half of my own people realize that these lewd acts could be caused by an illness, something that the “offender” has no complete control of.

I am a female, and I would sure be traumatized and really fucked up to death if somebody did try to jack off or flash right in front me; but on the other side of things, I’d like to think of myself as somebody who would consider to get this very sick man a fucking doctor before even deciding of detaining him.

Online and in the heaven-sent libraries, there are a whole lot more cases of mental disorders that most people aren’t completely aware of and if the fucking government and other related sectors would put their attention to these things then maybe we could somehow control the instances where exhibitionist freely roam the streets.

Exhibitionists should be placed in a mental institution and not inside a cell, wherein there’s a bigger chance of them getting more fucked up than ever than getting better. The complete lack of systematic approach (at least in the country I am in) also applies in the case of drug addicts, which most people would rather shun and push off to oblivion instead of sending them to the nearest rehab facility.

In the case of the victims of these “offenders”, a debriefing process should be carried out; not only to treat the mental and emotional trauma, but also to inform and make them understand the existence of such mental disorders. With this, I think they’d be more willing to (what B. H. Leveret has implicated) “deal” with the unfortunate case by way of psychiatric treatment, rather than seek to “penalize” the apprehended.