As if the phrase ‘penis enhancement’ isn’t funny enough – the marketing department of most penis enlargement products make the most hilarious ads ever. Almost all of these commercials hire female models to endorse and that’s when you start to get really confused. Umm… what makes the penis bigger? The product or the random chick?!
You can hardly see an ad where they actually use a real product user. This doesn’t come as a surprise at all. Who in the right mind would claim to have used the product to grow his own dick? It’s embarrassing, not to mention the notoriety you will gain after appearing in a wiener ad.
I have no idea if there are actually products that genuinely offer help so you won’t have to deal with a mini Johnson for the rest of your life. I saw some really scary stuff on the internet because these stupid fucking ads are everywhere. I swear, these penis enhancements come in all forms – pumps, pills, creams, and some horrifying gadgets. WTF?! I’m like, “DUUUUUUUUDE?! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON YOUR DICK OMGOMGOMGOMG….”
Bananas and Hilarious Euphemisms
There’s this dumb myth going around that eating bananas, apparently, will make your penis bigger. Well this is disappointing to the aspiring but NO – bananas and penises are a myth made by a bunch of crackheads, so get over it.
If you are on the web too much, you will eventually stumble upon some pretty crazy stuff. Have you heard of these hilarious penis enlargements euphemisms?
- Adding a wing to the sexual addiction clinic
- Doubling the interest rate on your mutual fun
- Genetational pinocchiotomy
- Getting a Magic Johnson
- Peter padding
- Plumbing the ball park frank
- Preparing to boldly go where no manhood has gone before
- Puffin’ the magic dragon
- Putting the archbishop on the rack
- Putting the munchkin on stilts
- Supersizing Big Mac
- Taking the train from Vienna to Frankfurt
- Trading in the escort for a stretch limo
- Turning crouching tiger into hidden dragon
- Upgrading passenger Johnson to first class
I think I somehow understand the desire of some men to have a giganormous shrong, but I’m pretty sure you can still pleasure a woman even if you are below average size. Although, a survey says that only 3 out of 10 women don’t mind having partners who are… well, modestly hung. But 7 women (that’s more than half!) prefer well endowed men! This is why the urge to trade the escort for a stretch limo is becoming a viable idea. I don’t know though. Personally, I wouldn’t know how to react if I found out that my partner has a monthly bill for tool maintenance.
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be judgmental, or make fun of men who “enhance”. It’s just that…. these ads get into my nerves!!